we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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