well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
