so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I will be naked everywhere
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
The ass gains better be worth it
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