I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
