I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
