We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
