but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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