I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize