there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
