the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
