i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
How naked do you want me to be?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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