Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize