went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
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