I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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