Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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