To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Randomize
