Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
