I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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