This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
