he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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