Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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