I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
