i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
