I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
