Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
