it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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