He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
