she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
Operation Purity has been aborted
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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