I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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