And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
