ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
