I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
No stitches, just platelets and will power
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Randomize