Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
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