Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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