some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
