From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
