even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
FUCK WHALES
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
