I'll bet she douches with gravy.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
