he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
