So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize