oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize