Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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