i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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