the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
