im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
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