My nipple is on Facebook.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
should my penis look like a turkey
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
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