you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
