that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
