You're so nebulous sometimes
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
