Already got asked if we're dating
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
