shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize