she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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