you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Randomize
