so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
