he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
