just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
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