Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
