You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
