Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
