He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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